A Letter to My EX

To Whom it May Concern:

I hated you for what seemed like forever.  Any time your name was brought up, it was like nails on a chalkboard. I wanted people to hear my side of the story! It wasn’t fair that I was vanished with out any say… to fend alone on my own, and you had me replaced within a month. I felt so enraged by the thought of your presence that it took me 2 months before I got my things, and when I stopped by SHE was there. My replacement. Some how I missed you (and not missed like “I miss you =/”, but like you physically weren’t there). Thank God. I didn’t even know what I would’ve done or said.

You were one of my firsts, and I thought you would be my last, at least until I decided it was time to move on. It hurt being the one that was left, but I did what I could to get back at you. I took the first step and deleted you on Facebook and on all other forms of social media. DID YOU FEEL THAT BURN? This was at one time, my biggest failure. It took my confidence in a downward spiral, and every one around me noticed it. No one knew why though considering I hid it from everyone including my parents. I thought I could never find anyone else to replace you. You made me feel like no one wanted me. For the first time in my life I felt embarrassed of myself, and rightfully I should have. Not because I was FIRED from my job, but because of my lifestyle in general.

Had you going there for second, didn’t I? These are all very real emotions I experienced when I was fired. I was with the company for two years. I started my Senior year in high school and worked through my Sophomore year in College. During this time a lot of things were changing for me, but it was an easy job and I made a little more than minimum wage, so I stuck around.

11/11 (make a wish!) was the night of the Taylor Swift concert, and 11/12 was the day I showed up to work 4 hours late to my opening shift… still buzzed from the night before. 4 HOURS LATE. OPENING SHIFT.  Sometimes electronics don’t always work the way the should, and my manager understood that… the first two times it happened. She even understood when I got stuck behind a school bus a few time on my way to work. This was now my third time sleeping in from being too hungover to hear a fire alarm, much less my dumb cell phone alarm.

If you have never been fired before, there’s a few different ways it can happen, but for me… I got a phone call while I was at lunch saying I had been “let go.”

Humiliated. In disbelief. Lots of ALCOHOL: Those were the only 3 things running around in my brain.

I was unemployed for 4 months. I blew through my savings account, mostly on food and alcohol. Okay, all on food and alcohol… I “searched” for many jobs over that time, but never followed through with any of them. I really didn’t know how to go about making a resume that said “Employed At: *insert company name here* for 2 years,” because when they would ask in an interview why I left…? “Oh yeah sorry I was FIRED. I can’t wake up to my alarm to save my life, and I’m a borderline alcoholic. Will you please hire me? I’m a really hard worker!”

FAIL.

In February, my parents and most of my friends figured out that I was unemployed. I first lied and told them I quit because my manager didn’t really like me, and then I told them I was let go because my school schedule didn’t work with my work schedule. My good friends knew what happened and laughed at me for being a complete moron, and my parents flattered me by making me think they believed me. My dad urged me to start looking for a job (Urged= do it or else), or I would have to start paying for school myself. (Looking back on this, it doesn’t really make sense. How would I pay for my school if I didn’t have any money? The whole concept was strange). He gave me a dead line: SPRING BREAK.

Spring Break? Why would I get a job before spring break? All I could think of was how horrifying it would be to get hired somewhere, and my training days begin the week of spring break. Struggles.

I sucked it up and applied at a somewhat local restaurant, and some how they lost my application before I went in for an interview which meant the previous job was barely mentioned, except for the typical “What skills did you learn at your previous job that you can apply to our company?” Phew!

The following week I was enjoying my spring break when I got the phone call that I got the job! It was a hostess position, and it paid minimum wage, but I GOT A JOB! Finally! I felt a huge weight leave my shoulders. I was no longer the fired misfit, and I met my dad’s deadline, spring break! Cha Ching!

I have currently been employed since March 12th of 2012 and promoted within the company (#ServerLyfe$$)!

Since my last (and hopefully only) firing- I have never been late to work or any of my 4 internships I have held, not once (knock on wood). Now, I no longer feel like a failure when I think about “that one time I was let go.” I feel like dying laughing when it gets brought up. If I can gain a whole new set of work skills, can’t almost anyone? Talk about a 360.

So again

To Whom it May Concern:

My previous manger, that only wanted the best for her company, and was nice to me for long enough… I would have fired me too.

I am eternally grateful for that wake up call… on my life.

Sincerely,

15 Minutes Early

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